Not all relationships are created equal. Some people in your life are helping you level up, while others are unknowingly (or sometimes knowingly) holding you back. In our book Swim!, we use a powerful ocean metaphor to help you understand the difference: sharks and suckerfish.

The big question is—who are you swimming with?

Sharks: The Mentors Who Help You Win at a High Level

Let’s be honest: sharks get a bad rap. But if you take a second to think about it, there’s a lot we can learn from these complicated creatures. Swim! Isn’t strictly about the apex ocean predators. Instead it’s about high performers, leaders, and mentors who know how to win and want to help you win too.

A shark in your life builds your confidence. They teach you the fundamentals, whether that’s in business, relationships, or mindset. They model the behavior they want to see from you—they don’t just talk about excellence, they live it.

But most importantly, sharks help you avoid costly mistakes and unnecessary frustration. They’ve been where you are. They’ve failed, learned, and come back stronger—and now they want to pass those lessons on to you.

A real shark doesn’t compete with you. They invest in you. They want to see you win at a high level—not just get by. They’re not intimidated by your potential; they’re excited to unlock it.

If you’re lucky enough to have a shark in your corner, don’t waste the opportunity. Watch. Learn. Listen. They’re not there to carry you—they’re there to coach you.

Suckerfish: Committed, Growing, and Full of Potential

On the surface, the word “suckerfish” might sound like an insult. But in Swim!, it’s actually a compliment. A suckerfish represents someone who’s committed, full of potential, and willing to grow, but just needs some development.

They’re the largest group in any organization or circle. These are the average performers, not because they’re not capable, but because they’re still learning. They’re not trying to be sharks (yet), but they’re serious about leveling up.

What makes a great suckerfish? They understand their role, appreciate the opportunity, and most importantly, they add value. It’s a symbiotic relationship—they gain knowledge, support, and structure from the shark, and in return, they bring fresh energy, perspective, and loyalty to the table.

Being a suckerfish isn’t about being passive—it’s about being coachable. It’s about recognizing you have room to grow and being grateful for someone who’s willing to help you get there.

Who’s in Your Circle?

So here’s the real question: Are you surrounding yourself with sharks who push you to be better? Are you playing the role of a committed suckerfish, soaking up knowledge and adding value along the way?

Or are you stuck in circles where no one’s learning, no one’s growing, and everyone’s too busy trying to look like a shark to actually act like one? 

Or… are you ignoring the third category. The one everyone’s familiar with but nobody likes to talk about?

I’m talking about the parasite.

Parasites don’t want to grow. They don’t want to contribute. They just want to take. They’ll latch on to a shark or a suckerfish, and instead of adding value to the relationship, they drain it. They gossip. They complain. They resist coaching. And worst of all, they create toxic environments that hold entire teams back.

Here’s the difference: while a suckerfish is coachable, humble, and committed, a parasite is entitled, negative, and selfish. They think they know it all. They expect success without doing the work. They bring nothing to the table but always want a seat.

Parasites infect cultures. They bring down morale. And if you don’t recognize them quickly, they’ll keep you (or your team) from swimming forward.

So again, ask yourself: Who’s in your circle?

• Are you surrounded by sharks who teach, lead, and model excellence?
  
• Are you surrounded by suckerfish who are eager to learn and add value?
  
• Or are you letting parasites hang around, hoping they’ll change, while they quietly undermine everything you’re trying to build?
  

The healthiest ecosystems are built on sharks and suckerfish working together—one mentoring, the other learning. There’s no room for parasites.

Our message is clear: to grow, you need to swim with intention. Sharks and suckerfish need each other. Sharks need someone to coach. Suckerfish need someone to learn from. Together, they build something powerful.

But if you’re not careful, you can find yourself surrounded by the wrong people; those who don’t challenge you, don’t support you, and don’t really care whether you win or lose.

Final Thought

Take inventory of your relationships. Who builds your confidence? Who teaches, models, and leads by example? Who’s helping you win?

And on the flip side, are you acting like a shark for someone else? Or are you being a suckerfish that truly adds value?

In life and business, you’re always swimming. The question is: Are you swimming in circles—or swimming toward something greater?